What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What is the sum of X+XX+XXX+XXXX?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

How do you identify a woman player?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

TEXT:

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What is the best way to get revenge on people who hurt you?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Are Americans really as uneducated and ignorant as portrayed in the media?

Make Nazis afraid again!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why can't my adopted sister accept she is not part of my family because she isn't related? Why can't she stop calling my parents mum and dad?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

At what point does trespassing become self defense? What are the necessary conditions for this line to be crossed from trespassing to self defense?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

When will dating stop being so hard for Gen Z?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How does gut health affect mental well-being?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.